Friday, November 03, 2006

Haggard & Worn: The Myth, The Man, Meth & Massage

Ted Haggard, top-dog evangelist, has resigned his position as president of the National Association of Evangelicals after a gay prostitute accused him of paying for sex, with a topping of crystal meth.

So, has Rev. Haggard admitted to hooking up with his accuser, Mike Jones?

Well, sort of.

You see, according to Haggard, he bought the meth but didn't use it. Haggard also said, he hooked up with Jones, but just to get a massage.
Okay, we get it, he didn't inhale. And, of course, a man who made a career out of preaching discrimination against gays is going to make sure that the massage he receives is from a male prostitute. It all makes perfect sense.

Haggard Compares Himself To Kerry

While this story continues to develop, could it have a more bizarre beginning?

According to Raw Story, Haggard had this to say in a KABC interview, shortly after the accusations surfaced:
"We live in a crazy world. As you know, John Kerry said some things and we all know he didn't mean what they're saying he meant."
I'm sure John Kerry will appreciate the defense.

No Moral Obligation To "Tell Everything You Know, Up Front"

From a piece at Editor & Publisher, there may be a reason that Haggard is providing details in drips and drabs:
In a January 31, 2004, article in the Times on emerging uses of the Internet, Haggard said: ''You have a moral obligation not to be deceitful. But you don't have a moral obligation to tell everything you know upfront.''
I'm not sure how Haggard doesn't see himself as deceitful. But, 'massages' can mean different things to different people.

I suppose it all depends upon what's being massaged.

Defender Of Family?

What we are left with is a man who was a driving force behind putting an anti-gay marriage initiative on the Colorado ballot who, if these charges are true, had a 3-year extra-marital sexual relationship with a gay man that included drugs.

If true, a man who sought to make sure that gay people could not form legally-protected monogamous unions cheated on his wife to engage in a gay tryst of his own.

Could preventing gay marriage merely have been a petulant way of ensuring that he would have a larger pool of single gay men to choose from?

And, if these charges are true, what does that say about trotting out his wife and kids to be with him while he defends himself?

The Lies Have Already Begun

We already know that Haggard initially denied knowing Jones and now he says that not only did he get meth from him, but a massage as well. The lies have begun.

Haggard says he got referred to Jones by a hotel concierge.

Interestingly, today on Tucker Carlson's MSNBC program, Mr. Jones said he only advertised in gay publications and websites and a hotel would never give out his name to somebody seeking a massage.

Going Down

It's fairly clear where this is going and the mega-church that Haggard heads is doing its best at damage control. After all, there is a vast amount of money at stake and, when it comes to the evangelical movement, it's really all about the Benjamins.

Or, in this case, the Mikes.


Anonymous said...

See the last footnote of this article for more on the Times quote:

Richard J. Palmer said...

Look how they crucified Clinton for saying: I did not have sex with that woman. Same lie here a few years later. Clinton's peccadillo was nothing compared to Haggard's carrying on. He is confessing a little more each time and finally he will say that he loves men, so? I pity his family and his confused congregation. Will they begin to doubt their leaders? Remember, I have sinned Swagart? History does repeat itself.

DanielOrtega said...

Coming soon:
"Haggard in rehab, claims evil Papist molested him as altarboy"

"Family & congregation stand 100% by Haggard, pray for his speeeedy recovery"

"Haggard Divorce, Excommunication Uncontested"

"Disgraced evangelical Haggard releases tell-all autobiography:
'From Brimstone to Icequeen - My Life on My Knees'

Darren7160 said...

I believe that we all fall short... to me, a church is for people who feel lost and need comfort, not a place to smugly sit and point fingers at others. We are loved and will be accepted! However, the evangelicals like Haggard, Falwell, Swaggert, Baker and Robertson want to use New Testament messages of being saved while using Old Testament messages to condem others.

Anonymous said...

More 'E' vicar?

Anonymous said...

Does everyone get it yet? ANYONE who condemns others for their expression of sexuality, and uses a pulpit to do it, is always suspect.

The Bible is filled with vivid debauchery, anti-family values, children being denigrated or killed for slight infractions, women being bought, sold and held as property, etc.

The Bible is not a family values manual. It is a rag. It is not something to be used to forward a civilization. It is certainly not the foundation of the USA. It is disgusting.

But so-called Christians want you to think it is a 'holy book', because they know you have not READ the damn thing.

Read the Bible and you will walk away from Christianity in a second. You will discover that their so-called God is a liar and a deceiver. Their god clearly and indelibly has stated that he 'hardens hearts', that he is the 'creator of evil'. He states that he committed not only genocide, but planeticide! Heck, their god supposedly destroyed all life on this planet one time, except for a boatload of animals and a group of 8 people. Read it! I am not making this up. It is right there in the Bible.

Their bible-god is a monster. And they want you to NOT know this. Read it. Google it. Understand what it is that we are up against here.

Christians who scream from their pulpits and who others put the screamers up as 'outstanding Christians' are heinous creatures.

Just read the Bible to discover what it is they really value. Once you do, you will understand for the first time why this country has so much trouble with religious people.

izack said...

This stuff just writes itself . . . thank you
baby Jesus.
Let's see . . .
You can smoke but don't inhale
You can suck but don't swallow
If you swallow the TERRORIST win?
. . .is that about right?

Karen said...

This stuff just writes itself . . . thank you
baby Jesus.<<<

Oh, this is hilarious. Thank you.
I love laughing at 5:30 a.m! Whoever wrote this..I'm grateful. Summed it up in a few lines. Color me happy for the rest of the week.

Haggard used Kerry. Amazing. That's despiration. I hope Haggard falls apart and comes back a decent less self-righteous #@S$E%D. But, I suspect that's not going to happen as I see him scrambling to keep himself together. Sigh...that's too bad because we could use some ex-right wingers who have seen the light.

I rather wish I could read the Bible, but I can't/or won't. Take your pick. For every religion out there, there will be a different interpretation, so why bother? Not to mention, I can't imagine being monotheistic in my beliefs.

Thanks again. I'm still laughin'.

Anonymous said...

Scootman, Hi!
You said: "I'm not sure how Haggard doesn't see himself as deceitful. But, 'massages' can mean different things to different people.

I suppose it all depends upon what's being massaged ..."

Dontcha mean WHAT is being massaged?

scootmandubious said...

Anonymous said:
I suppose it all depends upon what's being massaged ..."

Dontcha mean WHAT is being massaged?
uh...yeah....'what's being massaged' translates to 'what is being massaged.' Minus the caps, of course, but that is implied.

Did I miss something?

Thanks for the comment. -- scoot

Bluebear2 said...


You forgot:

"It's all the democrats fault!"

"Stay the course!"

NormaC said...

Ya know--it's really Clinton's fault...

I'm not sure why, but it always is.

It bothers me that he can look so calmly into the eyes of reporters and never give anything away. No shame, no remorse, no tension. He's acting all the time!

I do feel sorry for his wife and kids, though. She should take them and leave, for their peace of mind and heart. Perhaps, then, he could confront the issues.

And from patriotboy blog, a voice expert analyzed the voice messages and pronounced them as genuine Haggard. From the transcripts, it sounds as though he was really in to the meth.


scootmandubious said...

Haggard is now officially out as pastor of his church.

They have already found he had committed "sexually immoral conduct."

That was quick!